#i haven't read or watched bsd so i'm sorry if any of it is super inaccurate

[soukokuforthesoul]

when lying beside chuuya at night, the blanket the only thing between their skin, becomes dazai finding that he can no longer stay. he wants to, that's evident enough. but wanting has never done anything good. he shouldn't have even come here. but somewhere in his dazed mind, his first thought had been chuuya. and now he lays buried beneath regret and guilt. along with the knowledge that he can't and won't ever gain anything good from this. neither will chuuya, and no matter how much they try to convince themselves otherwise, it's all only a futile attempt to find solace in one another. when, really, chuuya is the only one with anything worth living for. chuuya has so much ahead of him and being with dazai will do nothing to contribute to that.

and then chuuya shifts, his arm draping over dazai's chest. his body is warm, his fingers curling into a loose fist where dazai's heart beats. then the only coherent thought in dazai's head is: he has to leave.

he's hesitant. it takes everything in him to shuffle away from chuuya's warmth, away from his quiet breathing and soft skin. but he does it anyway, slipping out of the bed and gently adjusting the blanket until chuuya is covered almost all the way. he refuses to look anymore, however, and ducks his head down. he searches briefly for his clothing before realizing it's sure to be muddled up with chuuya's somewhere on the floor.

instead of trying to squint through the dark, he stumbles to the closet and snags the first clothes in his vicinity. they're chuuya's, so they're sure to be tight. but, as dazai struggles into them, he find them familiar. it takes him a moment to place them as his own, and he recalls chuuya, several months back, taking them with the promise that he'll grow into them. dazai grits his teeth, vowing to buy new clothes the next moment he can.

he pivots, turning to the window. the screens are drawn over it, but it's open, letting in cool air. dazai opens the screen and closes the window. he lets out a breath, staring through the glass and up at the clouds that obscure any sign of the moon. streetlights light up the sidewalk, glowing in place of the lack of stars.

behind him, chuuya stirs. the light from outside must've alerted him, and he sits up. wearily. dazai tenses, silently scolding himself for his carelessness.

"osamu?" chuuya mutters, rubbing his eyes. the blanket slips down, settling at his waist. he squints at dazai who stands silhouetted by the window. "what time is it?"

dazai considers. he glances at the clock. "3 a.m. go back to sleep," he says calmly. he remains still, allowing chuuya's recent awakening to mask the fact that he's clothed now.

"are you leaving already? you can stay a bit longer." chuuya shuffles to the end of the bed, bringing the blanket up to wrap around his shoulders, leaving his legs in the open. they swing over the edge, and he's ready to get up. to drag dazai back in.

dazai closes his eyes, turns slightly to the side. "sorry, chibi," he murmurs.

chuuya huffs, but relents. dazai is just as stubborn as he. if he wants to leave now, there's not much room for debating. "come back tomorrow?"

"mm." dazai doesn't bother answering. he would hate to lie as the last thing he'd say to chuuya. so he simply walks to the door, letting chuuya gaslight himself into thinking dazai will be back tomorrow. "goodnight, chuuya."

chuuya is still perched on the end of the bed, his head turning to follow dazai out the door. "'night, mackerel."

it's quiet in the hall as dazai slips out and away. he can almost feel chuuya's gaze on him through the window as he walks down the street. but he pushes the image of him out his mind, focusing on the road in front of him. there's nobody out tonight. a distant sound of cars and trains only just makes it to the street. but dazai is gone, by then. and chuuya is alone. there will be no tomorrow.

[anticidic]

What are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media ever (can be anime/manga, tv series, books, movies, etc)? Why love them? Thanks ⭐

P.s

I've seen that ask a few times, and compare to other people, I think you have read the most books from the authors of BSD (that is so cool). As someone who grew up reading classic books and then got into anime/manga, I don't find many people in animanga fandom who also love reading books, so glad to find your blog. When you said, you've read from all Guild members, I got excited on my own (sorry).

I really love reading. 😅 I had to do a lot of analyses back in school on books like Of Mice and Men, Great Expectations, The Great Gatsby, and some of Shakespeare's works and it kinda just opened the floodgates to me enjoying all kinds of classics. Poe and Lovecraft were some of my favorite authors because I was really drawn to gothic horror and the cosmic elements of Lovecraft's works. I was also obsessed with horror for a hot minute and Stephen King still holds a place in my heart.

I legitimately got into bsd because of my love for books. Characters as real life authors with abilities named after their works? Sounds cool, I'm in! And I've been here ever since. It pushed me to read works beyond American/European authors. I just think some of the parallels are super neat, like the Nathaniel vs Akutagawa "Diablo" bit, and Dazai's frequent mentions of Dostoevsky in his works.

1. Bungo Stray Dogs

Self-explanatory, I think, after what I said above. I like the literary parallels and the foundation of the world is really neat to get into and think about.

2. Good Omens (show)

Angel/demon motifs? Hell yeah. I love religious themes in works, and I like the balance Good Omens strikes with that and its comedic aspects.

3. Scrubs

This is mostly from a comfort angle. Some of it is like black comedy? with the bleak jokes that are made in relation to medicine.

4. Haikyuu!!

I didn't think sports anime could get a grip on me, but here we are. I just kinda fell out of my hyperfixation with it a few years ago, but I still come back to it every once in a while. Really good character development, some legitimately tense moments in some of the matches like all the Karasuno vs Aoba Johsai, and I liked the Karasuno vs Inarizaki arcs the most.

5. Tokyo Ghoul

I actually completely forgot about how much I loved this series, which is both weird and concerning, but ANYWAY. It had really neat world-building and set a good precedence for an interesting narrative in Kaneki, but I think the ending is what eventually turned me away. Leading up to the first part of :re was a treat. Just a shame what happened to it.

6. Seraph of the End

Another old hyperfixation but still holds a place in my heart. I haven't read it in a HOT minute, I think I stopped catching up with what was going on a few years ago. But this also had a really interesting premise and the idea that kids were immune to the thing that wiped out most of the population was pretty cool. I liked the relationship between Mikaela and Yuichirou especially when they were on opposite sides of the war and Mikaela having to grapple with being a vampire and not wanting to feed on people.

7. Supernatural

Came for the story, stayed for the memes. Another old favorite of mine that I sometimes go back to now and then just because it's neat. The supernatural elements and, again, religious themes drew me in. A lot of the ideas I've gotten for plots I used in writing came from watching this. 👀 Paranormal themes is something I like exploring a lot and I still haven't gotten tired of it.

I was asked about favorite books before, so I decided not to include any of them. Thanks for the ask, anon!! ✨

[teddybeartoji]

you have some skill in making me spiral with every word you write

imagine just reading a reply and you get hit with a crazy soul read and then with the most delicious concept idea ARI WHATTTTT

BTWWWW THAT SUNFLOWER FACT IS TRUE I'M PRETTY SURE (love how neither of went to fact check it)(we just know it's true) HEHEHEHE WE ARE SO CUTE

OKAY OKAY OKAY we should do a late spring/early summer wedding so we'll get to have fresh newly bloomed irises there!!!! must have!!!

YAYY ARI LORE YIPPEE omfg yess coffee AND tea i knew you were the one for me i love them both too heheheh AND YOU LIKE HERBAL TEA WITH HONEY ARI DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY FAVOURITE TEA IS? DO YOU? CAN YOU GUESS IT ALREADY? IT'S HERBAL. ANY KIND. AND ALWAYS. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. WITH HONEY. AAAAAAAAAAAAA i actually fucking despise sugar in tea i think it's so... bad............... lmao borderline disgusting sorry sugary tea lovers okay but my all time favourite is peppermint tea mmmmmmmmm my beloved i just recently found a brand that actually makes good peppermint tea sigh i love it so much

as for the diabolical fucking soul read.... what'd you mean the signals in your brain told you i like cold coffee more than hot coffee HOW LIKE HOW THOUGH HOW ARE YOU INSIDE MY BRAIN???? WHAT my mouth was hanging open like a stupid fucking fish when i saw that bc what. i haven't really thought about whether i like it cold more but i can tell you for a fact that i always drink it when it's already cold bc i always fucking forget about it lmaooo but then again whenever i go out i usually get an iced coffee...... ari how did you come up with this i'm genuinely so shocked wow anyway i love a good old frappe yum

omfg ur so right ashley is 100000% there just for chris' romance. "romance". eye roll. they're so lame. SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE AS EXCITED AS I AM THOUGHH TRUST I'LL POST ABOUT IT JUST FOR YOU HEHEHHEHE

ALBERT CALMUUUUSSS I'VE HEARD OF THE MAN AND I HAVE THE BOOK ON MY LITTLE WISHLIST ALREADY HEHEHEH so good to get the ari stamp of approval though. "might not be very good rep because he does kill a guy" well sometimes murder is okay shit happens i can't wait to read about this normal guy

i'm so excited for you to meet nikolai!!!! i like him a lot a lot a lot and overall i like the fyodor/nikolai dynamic so much too!! and i think you will like it too lmao on the topic of bsd though i was super scared about losing intrest in jjk too!!!!!!!!! i have a tendency to change my hobbies (derogatory)(more like they just slip away sometimes sadly) BUT I THINK JJK IS SO DEEPLY ENGRAVED IN ME (and you) THAT IT HAD NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER ON IT THEY'RE BOTH LIVING INSIDE ME NOW but yeah i totally understand your point so yk no pressure to watch it lmao need you to know that it's always no rush no pressure with me i think i'd rather die than to pressure sb into smth............ IT WILL FIND YOU WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT

AND EEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE TECCHOU SOOOOOO MUCHHH MY LITTLE AUTISM GUY HE'S THE ONEEEEEE NEED TO HUG HIM SO BADLY I'M AFRAID I NEED HIM LIKE I NEED A WEIGHTED BLANKET THIS IS WHO HE IS TO MEEEEE AND JOUNO AAAAAAA ari/mickey duo literally always slaps huh not to be annoying but when i saw him i immediately thought about whether you'd like him heheh i love their dynamic so much too bsd needs to calm down my brain can't handle all of these i love how they're really like a married couple they're just bickering all the time (like all of the other duos who am i kidding)

now now now for the insane brain killer of a sentence

image of prince!dazai just flooded my brain oh no

ARI WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU CAN'T JUST SAY STUFF LIKE THAT PRINCE!DAZAI???? PRINCE!DAZAI?????????????????????????????????????????????????+ AGDJHMBNWHKGJWNMDGJWQBD,AHBDKJGVDJAGWDKAWIDHKALWUDHS

i read this and i closed the fucking app. I'M SORRRYYY PRINCE!DAZAIII???????????ABSDHAMSDHQWDMHWADWQ ARI I'M FUCK I CAN'T HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BUT HE I SHIT okay c'mon now deep breaths.................... prince!gojo n prince!dazai are holding hands smiling standing above my grave are you fucking kidding HE'S SUCH A LITTLE DICKHEAD PRINCESS oh my fucking god i'm trying to imagine a reader i don't think this one would be a knight i think this one would be wait wait what do you think about like arranged marriage????? like the reader is a somebody from fuck knows where and now they're destined to marry this annoying prince who only knows jokes and teasing never showing any signs of vulnerability whatsoever???? but then maybe one night the reader wakes up and he's not in bed (btw they argued over the fact that reader obviously didn't wanna sleep in the same bed as him but also refused to take the couch but dazai also refused to take the couch??? so they ended up sleeping on the same bed but with a pillow wall between them) and the reader finds him in the bathroom yk smth smth about the bandages and the scars underneath them... and it's all very gentle and maybe the reader helps him take a bath yk to relax him to make him feel better maybe they both end up in the tub?? NOTHING SEXUAL THOUGH I REPEAT NOTHING SEXUAL THIS IS IMPORTANT this would just be very soft n gentle just two annoying hard-heads opening up their hearts to each other...

SIGHH YOU TELL ME maybe this is too ooc?? fuck idk lmao but i think it'd be cute i need your opinions and thoughts though desperately need them actually + do you think dazai is the type to be able to keep his cool or does he sometimes get flustered... i think he's definitely better at keeping his cool than gojo is but i absolutely adore the fanart i've seen of soukoku where dazai occasionally starts to stutter a little lmao just every once in a while yk

+ this also just popped into my head and well i'm just making it canon in my head that dazai can play the piano??? he can. he told me himself. and also prince!dazai and his betrothed love to mess with the guards of the castle like they very quickly thought of a scheme of the dazai distracting them and the reader stealing smth from behind their backs just like cupcakes or smth i don't know why cupcakes that was the first thing that came to mind but you get it

well i hope you enjoyed another one of my spitballs that sound absolutely fucking disgusting let's ignore that i hope YOU slept so well i hope the sleep was keeping you locked tf down!!!! you deserve the best sleep in the world and i'll fight for you to have it thank you for indulging me in these silly little things LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU<3333333333

HAPPY FUCKING SUNDAY MY LITTLE IRIS!!! I HOPE THE SUN IS SHINING AND THE BRAIN IS BRAINING MWAHHH i am here to present you another silly little tiktok hehehe u mentioned nikolai as one of your blorbos so this was JUST RIGHT it made me laugh... maybe a bit too much........... i hope u enjoy LOVE U

https://www.tiktok.com/@pencil.slipped/video/7331589407524408618

- @softgirlgonehaywire

HELLOOOOOOO MY LOVELY SUNFLOWER happy. monday ….. almost tuesday …… hey hey did u know that sunflowers turn to face each other when there isn’t any sunlight around??? idk if that’s true it’s just smth i heard ISN’T IT SO SWEET THOUGH :(((( they’re so cute i’m weeping……

PHDJDJFUFJ THE TIKTOK???? MICKEY????? 😭😭😭😭 thank u it broke me a little i think OK BUT THEY WOULD GET ALONG WOULDN’T THEY…. gojo has a thing for murderous meowmeows <333 nikolai is one of those blorbos that i havent actually Met yet but i know a bit abt him and i love him oh so much….. i also have the biggest weakness for jester-inspired characters so i simply can’t resist him :’3 i am nomnoming the nikolai content thank u my dearest mickey for ur tribute

ALSOOOO i’m using this ask as an opportunity to respond to ur other letter hehe :33 i have a lot to say sadly i’m also scatterbrained & sleepy but i’m gonna try to remember everything !!! rubbing my three remaining braincells together just for u <33

ok first off some ari lore … my fave season is autumn w summer close behind BUT since spring is ur favorite we can have a spring wedding <33 in knight!reader’s honour too!!!! they’ll be there somewhere… lurking…… sunbathing……. the meowmeow of all time

AND AND when it comes to coffee and tea i’m not picky!! i love them both!!! no matter what kind!!! i like any and all coffee combos, just depends on my mood it’s the caffeine addiction i think but my overall preference is probably black w just a lil bit of cream <333 it has to be super duper hot bc lukewarm coffee makes me deeply uncomfortable (super duper cold is fine though!!) and i love love tea i couldn’t live w/o it…… my only pref is that i like to pour some cream in my black tea, and some honey in herbal tea :33 WHAT ABT U MICKEY I HAVE TO KNOW the signals in my brain tell me u like cold coffee more than warm coffee….. but i don’t even know if u drink coffee at all…… ALSO I NEED TO KNOW UR FAV KIND OF TEA i’ll make it for u in my brain every morning 🙏🙏

moving on to until dawn ARI/MICKEY GOING STRONG AS ALWAYS ashley is my least favorite character 😳😳 i just feel like everyone else is sooo girlypop or silly or at least a lil queer but she’s just kinda There……… for the chris romance………. and ofc i can’t forgive the emily slander!!!! we need to protect our wife mickey :((( nobody gets her like we do i fear

AND AAAA A REMAKE !!! WAITTTT THAT’S SO EXCITING MORE INTERACTIONS TOO…… ok but screaming while playing it was soooo real of u if i ever played it on my own i fear i wouldn’t survive AND THE SOUNDTRACKS!!!! god mickey i just remembered i still haven’t listened to the ones u recommended before :’33 i have them all written down so trust that i’ll get to them hehe BUT THESE ONES….. gosh i’m a little enamored w them….,, the theme from the lighthouse is soooo atmospheric i can practically taste the Vibe of it all…… it’s the kind of theme that would give me immense anxiety if i watched the movie LMAO but it’s somehow so pretty too yk??? the murky sea vibe…. AND THE THEME FROM THE WITCH goshhhh it’s genuinely so bewitching pun intended IT’S SO ENCHANTING???? just so vivid…. i alr know his work for until dawn is gonna make everything sooo much more intense and authentic i’m so excited mickey …… when u play it u gotta post abt it so i can feel included PHDKDBDJDB

ANYWAY BSD YAY YAY :3333 i feel like u mentioned having finished it all in another letter… i think i might’ve forgotten to respond to it 😔😔 forgive me and my scatterbrained tendencies KNOWING U ENJOYED IT MAKES ME SOOO EXCITED i’m a little afraid that i’ll fall out of my perpetual jjk phase if i watch anything else but literally the MOMENT i start watching bsd again i’m running over to ur blanket fort!!! i’m so excited to compare favs and moments we like hehe…. nikolai is just so sillyyy and i was really moved by that One panel where he takes off his mask and tells atsushi that he’s perfectly sane i must’ve been like 15 when i first saw it??? blew my mind i think it kinda set the tone for the villains i enjoy now … nikolai crawled so kenny could sprint… etc etc……. silly little queer villains who don’t remember what regret feels like anymore <3333

ALSO MICKEY u like tecchou right….. obv i don’t know much abt either one yet but i alr love jouno a lot!! once again we’re the duo of all time >:33 AND MANNNNN….. if u ever start writing for bsd just know i’ll be the first in line to eat it up !! i just know ur dazai would be the most lovesick catcoded little trainwreck ever 🥺🥺 an image of prince!dazai just flooded my brain oh no

one last thing!!!! before i forget!!!!! a little birdie told me that u started reading no longer human….. 👀👀👀 and what u said abt the mc being autistic made me think of another existentialist book where the mc is commonly interpreted as being a sociopath or something similar but he’s Literally Just Autistic. to me. there’s lots of room for interpretation but the coding is very much there … might not be very good rep because he does kill a guy lmao but i love him he means the world to me :((( the book is ”the stranger” by albert camus btw it’s short and u can read it online here i ADORE camus’ style of writing sm…. the vibe of it all….. the main themes are isolation + what it means to be human and. idk it just really really moved me… esp the very last line…. :c it’s very dear to me!! would highly recommend hehe

ok that’s all i think…, i always worry that i forgot to mention something or comment on something hhhh my brain really is just . a bit scattered all the time T_T BUT ILY MICKEY thank u for always checking in my sunniest little flower i hope u have dreams so sweet u wake up smiling <33333 pressing many tiny kisses on ur nose and cheeks and forehead mwah mwah mwah

[gumilac]

will u believe me when I tell u that I haven't watched a single ep of AoT... I'LL DEF WATCH IT ALL TGT ONCE THE FINAL SEASON IS OVER THO!! also omg I feel u,, I started so long ago and I'm still on season 1 ep11 of bsd 😭 the characters r so cool but the plot is kinda... weirdly paced 💀🙏🏻 pls the way i have to wait one week to get a single ep of kny is killing meeee this season is soo insane 😭

ALSO OMG AKI I'M SUCH A CLOWN 😭 I thought that 24th Dec was the GLOBAL RELEASE DATE FOR JJK VOL 0 😭😭😭😭😭😭 imagine my pain when I woke up on 24th and found out its only released in Japan rn 🤡 phew that sucked but skdjskdjs yeas I'm so hyped for it can't wait for yuuta main character moment‼️

Oooh omg I'm glad u had loads of fun! btw,, where u live, does it snow and stuff?? I feel like the true christmassy vibe only exists with snowkdjsjfj and in my state it doesn't ever snow 😭💔

-🍙

GASPS YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED AOT?? im surprised you haven't encountered any spoilers so far? i hope not KDMDK that's okay, i feel like it's better if you watch it when everything's finished so you don't forget anything (unlike me, i have read the manga but wtf? i feel like i'll still be so surprised when i see the anime bc i did forget things DJSJAHAH)

I THINK IM ON EP 10 S1 OF BSD LOL AND THEN IN KNY UHH EP 5? 4? OF SEASON 1,,, i wanna watch it tho ugh just super lazy and im a sucker for good action immediately but like kny has a training arc and i find it so slow 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ KDKKSKA SORRY BUT IK ITS GOOD I JUST CANT ACK–

it doesn't snow here, sadly :( and i do agree with you about the vibes of christmas if it has snow, i feel like it's more uhh christmasy lol WHAT? anw, yes it doesn't snow here which is kinda a bummer because i like winter and i'd like to live in a place that has snow (despite it being a hard weather to live in) its pretty, what'chu mean? MHSJAJ